Movie Review: "Machete"

Seen on: August 27, 2010

The players: Directors: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez, Writers: Robert Rodriguez, Álvaro Rodríguez, Cast: Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, Jessica Alba

Facts of interest: Rodriguez wrote the script many years ago.

The plot: Machete is an ex-Federale who goes after some bad guys who screwed him over and messed with his family.

Our thoughts: It sure took long enough to happen, but now, Robert Rodriguez’s “Machete” is finally alive! The crazy action flick with Danny Trejo opens in theaters this weekend, and wow, what a freaking cool ride this is! Boasting insane, bloody battles, loud explosions and the most hilarious dialogue all over the place, “Machete” may just be one of the most thrilling and entertaining films of 2010.

“Machete” was first introduced in one of those fake trailers during “Grindhouse,” and thanks to a great fan response, Rodriguez finally decided to go head and turn it into a feature. Damn, it was his best idea yet. “Machete” immediately sucked me into its gaga world and made me stare at the big screen in awe all while treating me to one of the most amusing cinematic experiences I’ve had in a long time.

But yes, to fully appreciate “Machete,” you really have to be cool with overly cheesy dialogue, tons of graphic violence and some of the sickest action sequences you’ll get to see this year. Not only does the film benefit from a wonderful pace, but it also features solid visuals, unique characters and a group of actors who know their shit and give the entire experience the necessary spice to totally deliver the goods.

Okay, backing up. Trejo plays the title character, a former Federale who goes nuts after a nasty drug lord messes with his family AND he gets screwed after agreeing to execute a U.S. senator. With nothing left to lose and on the run from the cops and bad guys, Machete decides to team up with a bunch of cool folks ready to make a stand and seek revenge against those who make this world a terrible place.

I’m not going into further detail as far as story goes because I want you to experience all the twists by yourself, but what I can say is that “Machete” takes quite a quite hilarious stand against all these immigration controversies we’ve watched appear between the U.S. and Mexico. The good thing though is that the film doesn’t take itself too seriously. Its primary goal is to entertain, and that it certainly does.

It’s impossible to touch on all the awesome things that go on in this film because there’s so much of it, but here’s just a quick list of what you can expect from the movie: Trejo wielding machetes, Trejo delivering the coolest lines, Trejo seducing Lindsay Lohan, and Trejo teaming up with Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and Cheech Marin to create a bloody mayhem all over the place.

Yes, “Machete” is all about Trejo, and there’s no one out there who could play a character like this better than him. He’s the one who owns the film, and he’s the reason everybody else looks and acts as cool as they do. Oh yeah, and Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, Robert De Niro and Jeff Fahey are all tremendous in their roles of badass criminals trying to initiate a war between the U.S. and Mexico…

Freaky quote: "Machete don't text." - Danny Trejo

The final word: So, if you’re in the mood for severed heads, boobies, and all things insane, “Machete” is the film for you! With this, Rodriguez has created a brainless action thriller that succeeds in delivering both first-class laughs and impressive stunts. I can only hope the film does well, because all I want him to do is get started on the sequels he’s having in mind. I want more “Machete” for sure!

Article by Franck Tabouring