Movie Review: "Clash of the Titans"

Seen on: March 30, 2010

The players: Director: Louis Leterrier, Writers: Travis Beacham, Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi, Cast: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Raplh Fiennes, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelsen

Facts of interest: Leterrier also helmed "The Incredible Hulk."

The plot: As the gods ruling the world are acting like rebellious teenagers, Perseus is the only one who can battle the bad guys and prevent an ugly war.

Our thoughts: Louis Leterrier’s “Clash of the Titans” is one big, noisy mess of a movie I believe doesn’t deserve to exist. The film somehow managed to score a bunch of positive reviews from the nation’s top critics, and I’m still trying to figure out why. In my book, this is a lame adventure cursed with terrible dialogue, dragging pace and mediocre performances.

Before I move on, let me say that I haven’t seen the original, and maybe that’s one of the reasons why I simply can’t root for this movie. The only decent thing about it are the visual effects, which at least boost the film’s production values and make some of the computer-generated beasts look pretty compelling (except for Medusa, who looks like crap).

Anyway, the story of “Clash of the Titans” is pretty straightforward. The gods ruling the world are all going through a midlife crisis, and a big war is about to ensue. Zeus (Liam Neeson) is pissed his humans don’t respect him any longer, and Hades (Ralph Fiennes) is enraged that he was the one who had to end up ruling the dirty, nasty underworld.

Sam Worthington plays Perseus, a courageous demigod and humanity’s only hope of survival. If he can’t make it, nobody can, and thus, he grabs himself a bunch of warriors and heads to a series of dangerous grounds to face ruthless demons and finally put an end to the mess the gods have unleashed. As he says in the film: someone has to say ENOUGH!

Well, I wish I could say ENOUGH to all those studio executives who keep greenlighting all these crappy remakes. No, I am not a fan of the 2010 version of “Clash of the Titans,” and the primary reason for my negative attitude is the poor screenwriting. To be more specific, it’s the ridiculous dialogue that ruins most of the fun.

I understand “Titans” is not a movie anyone can take seriously, but it’s not a comedy. Nonetheless, the film’s dialogue is as bad as what you would find in the worst possible soap opera or lame direct-to-DVD adventure. Watching gods and demigods deliver lines that are as laughable as they can be just didn’t get me excited in any way.

It doesn’t end there though, because on a personal level, I felt “Clash of the Titans” dragged on without really keeping me engaged long enough. The movie lost me after the first 30 minutes, and most of the repetitive storyline bored me more than it entertained me. The film follows the traditional quest plot type, but the quest itself lacks suspense and variety.

Perseus walks around battling some cool creatures, but the battles are not exactly intense. I also expected the fight with the kraken to be spectacular, but the grouchy sea monster only gets very limited screen time. I’m sorry to say this, but most action sequences in this film failed to win me over. People feel differently about those things, but they didn’t appeal to me.

Then there’s the whole 3D conversion thing, which clearly doesn’t work out. The film boasts some cool visuals, but the 3D effect adds absolutely nothing. In fact, I have a feeling the film looks way better in 2D. If you’re going to make a 3D flick, shoot it in 3D… please. The conversion method is a cheap excuse to lure people to theaters… for nothing.

Acting. I was looking forward to some solid performances, but none of the actors get a chance to really do a good job. Worthington does what he can with the lame material, but he struggles every now and then. Fiennes and Neeson are laughable for the most part, and Gemma Arterton is very annoying (despite her awesome looks). Other roles are completely wasted.

Freaky quote: "Release the Kraken!" - Liam Neeson

The final word: Okay, enough with the complaints. I didn’t enjoy “Clash of the Titans,” and I stand behind my opinion. If you had a great time watching this thing, then I’m more than happy for you. The film definitely had potential, but in the end, it’s nothing but an excuse of a remake to bring in the big bucks and offer audiences a disappointing experience in return.

Article by Franck Tabouring