Movie Review: “Whiteout”

Seen on: September 11, 2009

The players: Director: Dominic Sena, Writers: Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber, Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes, Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Gabriel Macht, Tom Skerritt, Columbus Short, Alex O'Loughlin

Facts of interest: Sena also directed "Swordfish."

The plot: Kate Beckinsale plays a U.S. Marshal sent to investigate a brutal murder in the middle of Antarctica.

Our quick thoughts: After an eight-year absence from the big screen, Dominic Sena returns with “Whiteout,” an action thriller that makes me wish he would have stayed away for a couple of more years. Dump, predictable and incredibly monotonous, this film is one to avoid like a plague. In other words, it’s a cinematic catastrophe.

Believe it or not, but the original synopsis doesn’t even sound that bad. Kate Beckinsale plays U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko, who’s been stationed at a U.S. research base in the middle of Antarctica for a couple of years now. So far, her job out there has been pretty lame, as she spends most of her time dealing with misdemeanors and hangovers.

Things change, however, when Carrie is called out to investigate a mysterious death that quickly turns out to be Antarctica’s first murder. As she follows a bunch of bizarre clues out in the freezing cold, she soon realizes that what she’s dealing with is way more than she expected. On top of that, the threat of a fierce snowstorm isn’t making things easier.

While all this may sound interesting enough to give this one a shot, I can only recommend you stay warm and stay away from “Whiteout.” The messy script and the film’s central plot are ultimately its biggest flaws, and the only thing you’ll see Carrie and other characters do in this film is jump into situations intended to mislead cinemagoers.

Sure, I sometimes enjoy movies trying to take my attention away from one thing in order to surprise me in the end and keep the suspense going, but “Whiteout” clearly fails to do that. Sadly, the first part of this 96-minute drag spends way too much time making audiences believe that they’re in for a superb, suspenseful showdown if they stick around long enough.

Eventually, as the story progresses, you will quickly find out you’ve been screwed over. Everything totally falls apart all of a sudden, and you’re left wondering why you’ve spend about 40 minutes watching Beckinsale play the smart detective. “Whiteout” spins out of control once we learn what happened to this first murder victim, and things only go downhill from there.

The film also tries to make you feel sort of isolated because the whole thing is set in the snow and all, but not one moment in “Whiteout” is really intense or really suspenseful. Mediocre CGI effects are thrown across the screen like crazy, but they deliver anything but chills. Just like the script, the technical aspects of this one fail to impress as well.

Kate Beckinsale plays a hardcore chick in this thing, but she isn’t given much time to kick ass here. Her character is uninteresting, and while she plays a clever marshal, she isn’t supplied with good enough material to offer a solid performance. She looks better than ever, yes, but that doesn’t make things better. Performances by Gabriel Macht and Columbus Short go rather unnoticed.

“Whiteout” is based on the graphic novel of the same title, but I cannot tell you how close it is to the source because I’ve never read it. I just hope it’s way different, because what I saw on the screen in this film is as forgettable as it gets. It’s really been a long time since I’ve seen such a boring, empty showdown in an action flick. It’s painful.

Freaky quote: "What happened out there?" – Kate Beckinsale

The final word: I walked into “Whiteout” with solid expectations, but I left the theater heavily disappointed. This is a film that is convinced cinemagoers are so stupid, they’ll keep watching and buying no matter what you serve them. My only response: avoid this ugly snowstorm and spend your money and time on a better film.

Article by Franck Tabouring