Movie Review: "Miss March"

Seen on: March 18, 2009

The players: Directors: Zach Cregger, Trevor Moore, Writers: Zach Cregger, Trevor Moore, Cast: Molly Stanton, Holly Hindman, Trevor Moore, Sara Jean Underwood, Zach Cregger

Facts of interest: None at all.

The plot: Two morons embark on a road trip to the Playboy mansion to track down one of the guys' former girlfriend.

Our thoughts: I’ve already seen plenty of utterly crappy movies this year, but Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore’s lame comedy “Miss March” may just be the worst one yet. Neither funny nor remotely interesting, this unnecessary mess of a movie is one of those failures that suck the money out of your wallet and offer you absolutely nothing in return.

In a nutshell, the film centers on Eugene (Cregger), who falls down the stairs at a party and ends up spending four years in a coma. After he wakes up and his best pal Tucker (Moore) tells him his former girlfriend Cindi has become a Playboy centerfold, the two buddies to head over to the mansion so Eugene can try to win her back.

Hollywood already has a bad reputation out there, and films like “Miss March” only make it worse. My time is way too precious to waste on this thing, so I’ll just keep this brief. I didn’t laugh once during this film, and the filmmakers’ hopeless attempts at delivering humor fail epically throughout.

“March” is stuffed with embarrassingly disgusting jokes, and pretty much everything I saw and heard on the big screen just made me want to run out of the screening room and destroy the projector. From utterly moronic dialogue to tasteless scatological gags, this sucker features everything there is to hate about a disastrous slapstick comedy.

On top of that, none of the main characters are remotely compelling and most of the acting is astonishingly bad. Especially Moore offers a poor performance as the annoying Tucker, who stabs his epileptic girlfriend in the head because she’s having a convulsion while giving him a blowjob. Tasteless indeed.

Freaky quote: “Smoking a pipe is the equivalent of wearing a fine tuxedo." – Trevor Moore

The final word: Thinking about this flick makes my stomach hurt, so I better wrap this up. “Miss March” is one to forget, and I’m pretty sure it will show up on my list of the year’s 10 worst films.

Article by Franck Tabouring