Seen on: November 20, 2009

The players: Director: Chris Weitz, Writer: Melissa Rosenberg, Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Michael Sheen, Dakota Fanning

Facts of interest: To be honest, I can't think of any.

The plot: Bella is devastated when Edward leaves her.

Our thoughts: Bella, Edward and Jacob are back in action in Chris Weitz’s anticipated sequel “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” but sadly enough, they’re all still as boring as in the first film. Okay, “Moon” is a slight improvement on “Twilight,” but as far as I’m concerned, it’s still as cheesy and lifeless. In fact, it’s quite a boring ride, actually.

First, let me point out that I haven’t read and certainly never will read Stephenie Meyer’s books. I understand her novels attracted a worldwide following, but this whole vampire romance hysteria just isn’t my thing. Maybe that’s the reason I simply can’t warm up to the big-screen adaptations. Or maybe the films are just too slow-moving and bland for my taste.

Anyway, “New Moon” is a messy film that never really takes off and doesn’t really have much to offer except a couple of mediocre action sequences. The rest is all endless talking, none of which is particularly intriguing or enlightening. It’s a pedestrian show from start to finish, and I still don’t understand what’s so special about it.

In this sequel, Edward (Robert Pattinson) pretty much messes up Bella’s existence when he shows up and tells her he will leave and never come back. Bella just knows too much about his family, and he simply can’t run the risk of letting something happen to her. He quickly hugs her goodbye and disappears into the woods. Ouch!

As it turns out, Bella has trouble coping with this dramatic break-up, and during the next couple of months, she’s haunted by brutal nightmares. The only one capable of pulling her out of her dark hole is the shirtless Jacob (Taylor Lautner), who boasts some fancy abs and knows exactly how to take her mind off all the bad things.

As it turns out, however, Bella can’t quite forget about her vampire sweetie, and before she knows it, she’s on her way around the world trying to stop him from making a fatal mistake. I know all this sounds incredibly dramatic and intense, but on screen, most of it either lacks intensity or just sounds and looks a little too ridiculous for my taste.

Bella’s struggle with the departure of Edward and her sudden feelings for Jacob are obviously at the center of the film, and although Kristen Stewart does a better job playing her confused character, I still found myself unable to connect with any of these figures. Maybe I should leave that to the 14-year-olds who can’t help but scream every time Pattinson or Lautner show up in a scene.

As I mentioned before, “New Moon” lacks decent pacing, even though the plot seems incredibly rushed at times. A couple of unimpressive action moments here and there serve as attempts to boost the film’s entertainment value, but I admit they didn’t really work for me in the end. Neither did the mostly corny, weird dialogue.

I have to say this though: as a comedy, “New Moon” works much better. Luckily, the film doesn’t always take itself too seriously, and most of its comic moments really made me laugh. I also enjoyed Weitz’s direction, a superior soundtrack, and undoubtedly improved visual effects. Too bad the film tanks in the story department.

Pattinson still looks pale and stiff, and his acting is hardly impressive. Lautner is much better this time around, and so is Stewart. Bella is the kid with the biggest troubles in this film, and she manages to pull off at least a few lines without sounding like a total weirdo. Dakota Fanning’s cameo is memorable, but her screen time is way too limited.

Freaky quote: "I love you. You're my only reason to stay alive... if that's what I am." - Robert Pattinson

The final word: Here’s the deal: many Twilighters out there will adore “New Moon,” and that’s fine with me. What I wrote here is my personal opinion, and I’m definitely not sorry to say this sequel disappointed me almost as much as the original “Twilight.” I can only hope they’ll take it up a notch in “Eclipse” and “Breaking Down.” Two down, and two more to go...

Article by Franck Tabouring