Seen on: October 17, 2009

The players: Director: Nelson McCormick, Writer: J.S. Cardone, Cast: Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Penn Badgley, Amber Heard, Sherry Stringfield

Facts of interest: Another remake...

The plot: A crazy dude pretends to be the sweet stepfather but ends up going nuts and killing entire families.

Our thoughts: To tell you the truth, I could have done a way better movie with every single dollar they wasted on Nelson McCormick’s disastrous remake “The Stepfather,” a film so ridiculously predictable and boring, it really made me want to get up and tear the screen apart. Yeah, it is really THAT bad!

Considering the trailer already shows you the entire film in two minutes, it’s certainly no spoiler when I tell you that Dylan Walsh plays a ruthless killer in “The Stepfather.” He works his way into families by playing the sweet, loving guy, and when his patience runs out, he just kills everybody and moves on.

As the film opens, Michael Harding (Penn Badgley) returns home from military school only to find out his mother Susan (Sela Ward) is dating David Harris (Walsh), the mysterious guy who doesn’t like his picture taken and never really talks much about his past. Michael doesn’t like the idea of having a stepfather at first, but he eventually decides to roll with it.

As the story progresses, however, Michael grows more and more suspicious of David. Nobody knows who he really is, and his behavior isn’t exactly normal either. In fact, Michael is convinced this guy is hiding something, and he won’t be able to rest until he knows what this dude is all about. That’s when the terror begins…

Alas, this terror is neither suspenseful nor surprising, and that’s just one of many reasons “The Stepfather” completely fails as a thriller. The fact that we know David is a man with evil intentions from the start certainly doesn’t help the cluttered plot, which drags along without offering cinemagoers anything to get excited about.

So, what ends up happening? As far as I’m concerned, I wasted 101 minutes watching a bunch of naïve characters feeling awkward in David’s presence. That’s it. We know exactly where the film is heading the entire time, and none of the developments on the big screen manage to provoke any kind of intense feeling or fear.

In other words, this is just another pathetic thriller doing more damage than good. It’s as forgettable as a film in this genre can get, and yet, it desperately tries to take itself seriously. Could this be another reminder that remaking older horror films is the worst idea ever?

I absolutely love watching Walsh on “Nip/Tuck,” and even though he knows how to play a nasty bastard in “The Stepfather,” most of his actions here are still more laughable than scary. The remaining performances go unnoticed, although I can’t help but repeat that Amber Heard boasts some good looks.

Freaky quote: "Who am I here?" – Dylan Walsh

The final word: I don’t feel like going into further detail, so that’s all I’m going to say about this sucker. Unless you’re looking for cheap thrills, stay away from this one and go see “Paranormal Activity” instead, if you haven’t already. As for “The Stepfather,” it’s a big mess we will certainly see pop up in the list of the year’s worst flicks.

Article by Franck Tabouring