Seen on: August 29, 2008

The players: Director: Mathieu Kassovitz, Writers: Eric Besnard, Mathieu Kassovitz, Cast: Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, Melanie Thierry, Lambert Wilson, Gerard Depardieu

Facts of interest: Based on the novel by Maurice G. Dantec.

The plot: A mercenary (Diesel) agrees to escort a young woman from Mongolia to New York.

Our quick thoughts: When a director trashes his own movie just a few days before its theatrical release, you known it can’t be good. Earlier this week, French helmer Mathieu Kassovitz said he’s quite unhappy with his latest action flick “Babylon A.D.,” citing strong studio interference as one example of a terrible experience on the set.

Angry about not being able to do with the scenes what he originally intended to, Kassovitz even called the movie violent and stupid. And who can blame him for telling the truth? “Babylon A.D.” is indeed violent and very stupid, offering cinemagoers nothing but a dragging 90-minute disaster infested with terrible dialogue and forgettable action scenes.

Set in the near future, the plot centers on Toorop (Vin Diesel), an experienced mercenary who takes on the perilous job of escorting a young woman (Mélanie Thierry) from Mongolia to New York City. Toorop doesn’t know who she is and what people want from her, but she’s of high value to someone and must be protected at all cost.

That’s pretty much all we’re told at the beginning of the movie, and frankly, it’s more than enough. “Babylon A.D.” tries very hard to keep the truth about the girl a big secret until the final third, but by then, nobody cares about her anymore anyway. In fact, I even wonder how anyone could care about anything that goes on in this mess in the first place.

The screenplay is probably the most disappointing aspect of the film, primarily because it tells a boring story about boring characters doing nothing else but fighting their way across several countries. Additionally, the story of a tough guy escorting a valuable person in a dystopian world is not exactly new either. It’s all been done before (i.e. “Children of Men”), and it’s all been done in better ways than this.

“Babylon A.D.” features several action sequences, but most of them fail to boost the plot. Watching Diesel throw a few fists and waste some bullets just won’t do it anymore. Producers also apparently ran out of money toward the end of the production, but I’m still wondering what they used it for. Besides a few great special effects depicting the film’s futuristic setting, there’s nothing visually intriguing about what we see here.

 

As far as the casting is concerned, I was not surprised to see Diesel taking on a lead role like this one. Unfortunately, his contribution doesn’t make the film any better, and I really wish he didn’t get to talk as much. Michelle Yeoh stars as the girl’s guardian, but her character is incredibly shallow and her performance goes unnoticed.

Additionally, Kassovitz assembled a popular supporting cast, including Charlotte Rampling, who turns in an awful performance as a ruthless religious leader. Also part of the action are a mediocre Lambert Wilson and hilarious Gérard Depardieu (I didn’t even recognize him at first). Too bad they all don’t get a chance to show what they are really capable of.

Freaky quote: “What is wrong with her?" – Vin Diesel

The final word: Apparently, “Babylon A.D.” was Kassovitz’s dream project, but I doubt he’ll walk away from this with great memories. Sure, the film is probably more entertaining than other releases this weekend, but in the end, it’s just as forgettable. Skip it and watch some Tennis on television instead.      

Article by Franck Tabouring