Seen on: May 30, 2008

The players: Director: Michael Patrick King, Writer: Michael Patrick King, Cast: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Christopher Noth

Facts of interest: The show ended in 2004.

The plot: The girls from the successful TV series return for another round of strolling around Manhattan, having nice lunches and discussing, men, love and marriage. 

Our thoughts: Just because a movie is based on an ultra-successful TV show doesn’t mean it’s good. But I think screenwriter and director Michael Patrick King was thinking the exact opposite when he wrote the script for the feature-length “Sex and the City” flick, because somehow the ingenuity of the show got lost in the process. Predicting audiences’ reactions to this big-screen adaptation, however, remains an easy task: those who love the series will likely enjoy the movie just as much, but those not part of that fan base will greatly suffer.    

I‘m not digging all too deep into the plot because I don’t want to spoil all the fun, but here’s what I can say about the story of this summer’s most anticipated chick flick: the film opens with Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) offering viewers a very brief recap of what went down in the series and what became of the characters ever since the show ended in 2004. It’s definitely not a helpful summary for those who’ve never watched a single episode, but die-hard fans may appreciate the little flashback.

Carrie is still in love with Mr. Big (Chris Noth) and thinks about moving in with him. Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is now living in Los Angeles and managing her boyfriend actor. Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is leading a happy marriage and loves to spend time with her adopted daughter, and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) is struggling with mood swings because of her full-time job. Saying anything else about the story line is impossible without revealing too much, so let me put it this way: expect a lot of tears, some laughs and more chick talk any guy could possibly handle.

I was never a big fan of the show and in all honesty only watched a handful of episodes, which is why I am certainly not capable of examining whether the movie pays justice to the series. I certainly liked the few episodes I watched on television, but I had serious trouble locating the same originality in the film. In a nutshell, I couldn’t find any interesting character development, let alone a compelling story line. Everything in this movie is predictable at best, filled with monotonous dialogue and corny sequences.

I also felt the substance of the conversations between the four women lack energy and intelligence. I mean, all they really talk about for 145 minutes is love and marriage and marriage and love. Sure, they also talk about how cool and important it is to be strong and look awesome even past the age of 40, but none of that chatter is really exciting. And although I don’t necessarily agree with it, the film also tries to show that no matter how desperate you are, watching close friends poop their pants will always make you burst into laughter. Seriously, who came up with that?  

The first hour is certainly watchable and even provides a few laughs, but the second part of the film quickly falls apart. Each of the main characters gets involved into some kind of dilemma, and although I seriously tried to care about what was going on, I failed to do so. Maybe it’s because the film jumps ahead in time too much (we see the characters stroll through Christmas, New Year’s Eve and even Valentine’s Day), or because most of it just feels like a couple of quick episodes tossed together. Whatever the reason, surprises are scarce, the dialogue is banal and the characters feel empty. There, I said it all.

On a different note, the film looks fancy, and some shots are incredibly gorgeous, but that unfortunately doesn’t save the whole thing from slipping into a dramatic state of boredom. The cast tries its best to suck the best out of their shallow characters, but don’t expect overwhelming performances. Even Jennifer Hudson doesn’t get a chance to prove her skills as Carrie’s new assistant, because her onscreen time is too limited.

Freaky quote: “Some labels are best left in the closet.” – Sarah Jessica Parker

The final word: The bottom line is, “Sex and the City” fans will enjoy taking another walk with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, but all others will be too busy checking their watches. Sitting through a chick flick is one thing, but sitting through a chick flick with bland characters and a banal plot for a total of 145 minutes is a totally different story. It’s painful.