Seen on: December 5, 2008

The players: Director: Lexi Alexander, Writers: Nick Santora, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, Cast: Dominic West, Doug Hutchison, Ray Stevenson, Wayne Knight, Julie Benz

Facts of interest: Lexi Alexander also directed "Hooligans."

The plot: Frank Castle returns as the Punisher, a merciless vigilante who tries to hunt down and eliminate the ruthless Jigsaw (Dominic West).

Our thoughts: What did we do to deserve this punishment? Lexi Alexander’s “Punisher: War Zone” marks the third time Marvel’s merciless vigilante makes an appearance on the screen, and while I have nothing against reboots (I enjoyed “The Incredible Hulk”), I do expect them to at least head into a new, and maybe even improved direction.

Sadly, this is not the case for “War Zone,” a film so brainless and simplistic, I couldn’t help but laugh at what I was watching. The movie’s few mediocre action scenes may have prevented me from slipping into a state of absolute boredom, but they certainly aren’t impressive enough to cover up the unforgiveable atrocity that is the main story line.

Not wasting any time with lengthy explanations about whom we’re dealing with, the film kicks off with Frank Castle (Ray Stevenson) eliminating dozens of bad guys at a big mansion. It’s not necessarily a suspenseful first scene, but it serves as a pretty good preview of what we’ll be seeing for the remaining hour and a half.

The main villain this time is a disfigured dude named Jigsaw (Dominic West), who owes his mutilated face to the Punisher and engages in plenty of bad-guy business to seek revenge. Fighting at his side is Loony Bin Jim (Doug Hutchison), a maniac who gets a kick out of biting other people and devouring their intestines. Yum!

The script by Nick Santora, Art Marcum and Matt Holloway is a major catastrophe, offering absolutely nothing exciting except a few loud but overall weak gun battles. As a character, Jigsaw is only halfway as scary and twice as dumb as he looks, spending most of the time working on a plan to lure the Punisher into a deadly trap.

The problem is that none of this is remotely intriguing, as Stevenson paces through the movie brutally shooting his enemies without any major troubles. The more bad guys he executes, the more monotonous the action gets, and by the time the film reaches its climax, all we’re left with is a laughable final battle that’s as bland as it can be.

Most damaging to the movie as a whole, however, is the horrendous dialogue. Some of the lines the characters utter are just plain ridiculous, while others don’t make any sense. I admit dialogue is not always the most important thing in a film of this genre, but in this case, it pretty much ruins everything, including any appreciation I had for the film’s somber but appropriate look.

As the lead character, Stevenson certainly looks good as the Punisher, although he barely shows any emotions. He certainly gets the job done, but his performance is nowhere near memorable. West has the ability to play a scary villain, but sadly for him, the script doesn’t give his character what he deserves. Other appearances by Colin Salmon, Mark Camacho and Julie Benz go completely unnoticed.

Freaky quote: “Sometimes I would like to get my hands on God." – Ray Stevenson

The final word: Before I wrap this up, I would also like to point out that “War Zone” is an insanely violent flick, as bullets rip through heads and other body parts in every action sequence. I personally don’t mind this much onscreen brutality, but it just doesn’t flow well enough with the rest of the film. Maybe you’ll get a laugh out of it though. As for my final word, I suggest they finally leave this Punisher in peace.

Article by Franck Tabouring