Seen on: November 26, 2008

The players: Director: Olivier Megaton, Writers: Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen, Cast: Jason Statham, Natalya Rudakova, Francois Berleand, Robert Knepper, Jeroen Krabbe

Facts of interest: Olivier Megaton also directed "La Sirène rouge" (The Red Siren).

The plot: This time, Frank Martin (Jason Statham) is forced to transport the kidnapped daughter of a powerful man from Marseilles to Budapest.

Our thoughts: Jason Statham suits up as Frank Martin for the third time in “Transporter 3,” and while his fancy car is the only thing that has positively evolved over the past years, everything around it just got worse. Directed by Olivier Megaton, this third installment takes way too many wrong turns, resulting in an unnecessary mess of an action flick that’s neither worth your time nor money.

I certainly don’t have anything against brainless movies dominated by silly, fast-paced action, I but I do expect them to entertain me without having to use the same tricks over and over again. Sadly enough, “Transporter 3” is merely a cheap copy of its predecessors, offering barely anything new except a bunch of recycled action sequences that have lost their appeal and look even more ridiculous than before.

None of the two previous “Transporter” films had a particularly intriguing story, but the plot we’re dealing with here is of the worst possible quality. This time around, Martin is forced to transport the kidnapped daughter (Natalya Rudakova) of a powerful man from Marseilles to Budapest. To make sure he sticks to the plan, his so-called employers make him wear a high-tech wristband that explodes if he gets too far away from his car.

With a lame story line, utterly repetitive action and some of the lamest dialogue you’ll hear in any movie this year, “Transporter 3” doesn’t have much going for it. Besides one pretty cool scene during which Martin chases his car with a bike, I really couldn’t find anything in this boring sequel that looked somewhat decent enough to keep me entertained for 100 minutes.

Worse than all the fighting or the standard high-speed pursuits are the scenes in between, during which Martin has to put up with the incredibly annoying Valentina, his “package.” Now, I know there are some pretty irritating characters out there, but watching this woman act like a complete moron from start to finish is a nearly impossible task if you consider yourself a sane moviegoer.

The film’s main villain is played by Robert Knepper, and while he looks like someone who could scare one or two people, he’s going through an awful lot of unnecessary trouble to execute his evil plans. He’s clearly not a match for Martin, and that fact alone damages the plot and quickly eliminates every chance for suspense. Also on board as Inspector Tarconi is François Berléand, whose character is still uninteresting and rather irrelevant.

Freaky quote: “It's complicated!" – Jason Statham

The final word: Honestly, that’s all I have to say about the disappointing experience that is “Transporter 3.” The somewhat appealing concept of the first film is long gone, and the remaining ridiculous action sequences are slowed down by catastrophic screenwriting (by Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen) and a rather inefficient direction on Megaton’s part. It’s time to let Frank Martin retire for good.

Article by Franck Tabouring